RHOB-S2 Ep. 3

"What a night!  I can't believe half the stuff that happened.  Calvin was clearly wasted and embarrassed Karine yet again.  Johnny wasn't' too keen on the little "incident" that happened between the two of us either and when we got home, he really let it be known right away."

Dianna:  Johnny?
Johnny:  Don't talk to me.  I can't even look at you right now.
Dianna:  Wha.. why?  What did I do?
Johnny:  Seriously Di?  Look sit down and relax while I get you a cup of coffee.  You need to sober up.

Dianna:  But Johnny, I don't understand what's the big deal....
Johhny:  The big DEAL is that you were acting like a slut at Aimee's, that's the big deal.  Do you know how many important people were there?  People I know and I have to work with on the regular?
Dianna:  Johnny it was harmless!  We were just joking around.  Come here...
Johnny:  No!  No Dianna, just back up.

Dianna:  Oh, so it's okay for you to stay out "working late" all week though?!  You think I'm stupid?  I know what your doing.  Can you say "Casting Couch!"
Johnny:  F*ck you!
(Goes to slap but pulls back)
Dianna:  (cries) If you EVER raise your hand to me again I will put you UNDER the jail you bastard!  Do you hear me!  I will take everything you own and then some.  F*cking try me!
Johnny:  Di....I'm....I didn't mean.....
Dianna: ....................

"Johnny has never raised a hand to me before.  I just don't know what's going on with him lately.  He's been"working" late almost every night now.  I'm not stupid.  One thing about this town is that people talk, ALOT.  I was hoping the rumors weren't true but judging by the way he reacted to what I said, they just might be.  Calvin means nothing to me.    I really need someone to talk to so I'm going over Karine's to vent.  I just hope Karine doesn't react this bad about what happened between me and Calvin."

"Dianna called me hysterical.  She said that Johnny almost hit her and that she needed a place to crash for the night.  I hate to see her upset and I know just the thing that will cheer her up."

Dianna:  Karine I'm really not up to this right now.
Karine:  What?  But you love our "Sunglasses at night" shindigs?
Dianna:  I know but....
Karine:  Come on dear, it will be fabulous.  Let's pop a bottle of wine and head to the jacuzzi so we can talk.

Karine:  Okay, so spill sweetie.  Tell me every detail.
Dianna:  Well first I want to clear something up with you.  You know that little thing that happened between Calvin and I at the par.....
Karine:  Nonsense dear, that's water under the bridge.  Besides, I know it was just a joke.  At least on your part any way.  I know you would never hook up with Calvin.  Now Katty on the other hand..
Dianna:  Yeah.  She was loving every minute of Calvin showing his a**.  
Karine:  I know, and of course all the paparazzi know about ti already as well.  I have no idea what I'm going to do with him.  But enough about me, what happened with Johnny?  That's not like him to raise a hand to you.

Dianna:  I know right.  I think the thing that upset him the most were all the industry people that were at the screening.  Johnny's really big on "keeping up appearances".  I swear sometimes he can be so shallow.  Anyways, I told him if he laid a hand on me then I would have him arrested and I would take everything he owned.
Karine:  Hahahha!  I bet that shut him up!
Dianna:  Well..yeah.  Actually it did.
Karine:  Johnny's so far up the investors asses he can't afford for anything like that get out.  Of course he came to his senses.  He might be an **hole, but he's not stupid.
Dianna:  I know.  I just don't get him sometimes.  I don't know if you've heard anything but I've been hearing that he's making his rounds with the new actors, making them promises and stuff.
Karine:  Johnny?  No, no as I said Johnny's an a** but he's not stupid.  That's all just rumors sweetie.  Believe me if he were doing really doing that, you would hear it from me first.
Dianna:  Well that's a relief....I guess.
Karine:  Aww.  You sad you don't have a reason to divorce him and take all his money now?  Hahahhah!
Dianna:  Ahhahahhahhah!
Karine:  God I love this life.  Cheers my friend!

"I had a great time at Aimee's screening.  Her pilot episode was actually very good.  Her career has really taken off and I am so proud of her.  Of course knowing Karine, she'll want to take all the credit for it.  Guiseppe gave me a ride home and we hung out for a bit on the porch.  He seems like a nice enough guy, but I really don't know that much about him.  It's like he just appeared out of thin air or something. We were having a nice conversation when I got the surprise of my life!"

Cynthia:  So Guiseppe what do you do for a living?
Guiseppe:  Oh, you know.  I buy and sell and things like thod.
Cynthia:  Mmkay....
Guiseppe:  Enough about me.  Tell me about you.
Cynthia:  Well what do you want to know?
Guiseppe:  How old are you?
Cynthia:  I'm really not comfortable with answering that question but I'm 34 if you must know.

Guiseppe:  I only asked it because you are so beautiful.  You look like 20.
Cynthia:  Oh please.  But thank you anyway.
Guiseppe:  You said you have 3 kids, no?
Cynthia:  Yes, 3 girls to be exact.
Guiseppe:  I think you lost one of them.
Cynthia:  Hmm..What?

Cynthia:  Ally what in the world are you doing outside at this hour!  Where's TAYLOR!
Alicia:  Oh, hi mom.  I don't know.  Inside I guess.
Cynthia:  Young lady you march yourself in that house right now!  I need to find out what the hells going on!  Guiseppe, sorry but I have to cut this short.  
Guiseppe:  No problem.  I will be in touch.

Alicia:  Who's that?  He's a cutie head.
Cynthia:  Let's go!
Alicia:  Mom chill out, it's no biggie.

Cynthia:  Taylor!  What the hell is going on here!
Taylor:  Oh, mom your home early.  You said the party didn't end until midnight.
Cynthia:  That's besides the point!  Why the hell is your little sister outside by herself at this hour of the night and who is this!

Taylor:  Chill out, okay.  Why you making such a big deal.  I guess the little rat snuck out.
Noah: (snickers)
Cynthia:  And that's YOUR cue to leave.  By the way don't bother coming back because Taylor's grounded for a very long time!
Taylor:  Mom, wait.
Cynthia:  Wait nothing.  YOU.. OUT.. NOW!
Noah:  Later Taylor...

Taylor:  Later Noah.....What mom!
Cynthia:  Taylor, I trusted you to watch the girls tonight and you let me down! Ally could have ended up on the back of a f*ng milk carton!  Do you realize the seriousness of this?  What's going on with you!  Are you on drugs!  Cause if your on drugs....!
Taylor:  No mom I'm not on drugs, k.  I didn't know Ally was gone.  I mean her and Elly were playing in her room a couple hours ago and she came to me and asked if she could go next door to Shannon's.  I told her no and she called me b*tch and told me that she hated me and went back to her room.  She must have crawled out of the window or something.  

Cynthia:  Oh, so you just sit here doing God knows what with that, whatever he was.  Is he a vampire?  Taylor you know how I feel about that.
Taylor:  Yeah, he is but he's a total Veg.  Like blood totally skeeves him out.  It's cool.
Ally:  Hey Taylor, mommy has a boyfriend.  Hahhaha.  She was talking to him on the porch.
Taylor:  Oh, so your giving me grief about having a friend over but you've been out there flirting with some douchebag?
Cynthia:  Both of you go to your room.
Taylor:  But mom...
Cynthia:  We'll discuss this later.  Go to your room!

"It seems all the progress me and Taylor have made since she moved back has gone down the toilet.  Now she's got this new vampire "friend".  I hate to think of what she may be doing with him.  There was a vampire on the show last season and she was cool and all but she was always fighting with her nature.  I don't know, I think it's time we went to a family counselor.  I mean it can't hurt right?"


                                                            The Next Day

"I still can't stop laughing about what happened last night.  Hahahahha.  Calvin is so f*cking stupid.  It's so entertaining too!  There was so much disfunction last night.  The people in this town act so conceited but their actions are extremely ghetto.  Speaking of ghetto, I saw that Aimee and Karine had a disagreement.  No doubt Karine is hating on Aimee's success.  I decided to use that to my advantage so I invited her over today so that we could "talk"."

Aimee:  So I was surprised for the invite today.  Something on your mind?
Katty:  Oh, nothing really.  Judging by what happened last night, I thought maybe you could use some relaxation.
Aimee:  Yeah.  That!  I can't believe  how grown folk can act so much like 2 year olds.
Katty:  I know right.  Karine was so pissed at Calvin.  Actually she's always pissed so that's not saying much.  I even saw when she was giving you a hard time on YOUR night of all things.
Aimee:  Karine thrives on drama.  She's not happy unless everyone is thanking her and kissing her ass.  Yeah she helped me to get the show but her help was a small piece of all the other help I had to go out there to get to make this show happen.  She act like she wrote it, co-wrote it, produced it, directed it, and everything else but star in it.  Girl I ain't got Karine to do.

Katty:  I know right.  She called me last night all stalker-like telling me to "stay the f*ck away from Calvin or else".  I was like or else what?  What are going to do, run me over with your f*cking walker grandma?   Hit me with your cane?  It's like hang up the pumps honey, your relevance in this town is wearing thinner than your f*cking hair sweetie.
Aimee:  Hahaha!  And she knows it too!  That's what kills her!

Katty:  So what was up with Dianna.  I'm sorry to say but she added way to much to a volatile situation.
Aimee:  I haven't had a chance to formerly sit down and talk with the girl but she comes off as annoying and needy.  I mean, she's SUPPOSED to be Karine's best friend but she flirts with her husband?  You know what they say, "With friends like that"...
Katty:  We spent some time at the gym and she went on and on about Calvin.  Karine's always on my jock about Calvin but she should be looking closer to home.
Aimee:  Exactly.  If that b*tch comes on to my man, I'mma beat hu ass.  End of story.
Katty:  Hahahha.  I want front row seats and I'll bring the popcorn! 

Katty:  I didn't see Marlin last night.  Did he have to work or something?
Aimee:  No.. um..he stayed with our daughter last night because she wasn't feeling well.  He really wanted to be there though.
Katty: Oh... Are yall doin alright?
Aimee:  Yeah, we good.
Katty;  Good....

"It was surprisingly kind of nice hangin out with Katty today.  She wasn't being her usual b*tchy self but I'm still feeling out the whole situation with her.  In all honesty, I don't really care what the other housewives are doing.  At this point I'm only concerned with succeeding and branding myself.  What they do is irrelevant to me but I have to agree with Katty about Karine.  Karine thinks she can control anyone and everyone and like Katty said, her time  in this town is over.  Now if Karine only knew that........"

RHOB- Season 2 Ep. 2

"Karine get's so upset whenever I mention Katty's name.  I hate the b**ch too but I really don't think she's behind Calvin's change.  Like I said, "It takes two to tango".  Karine needs to realize that maybe the problem has nothing to do with a third party.  We continued to shop and Karine continued to complain about Katty when we ran into Aimee.  She looked pretty surprised to see us...."

Karine:  Is that Aimee over there?
Cynthia:  Aimee?

Aimee:  Oh, sweetie.   Hi.  How are you?
Cynthia:  Pretty good and you?  Long time no see.
Aimee:  Oh, I know right.  I've just been so busy with the new show and all....
Karine:  Hii!

Aimee:  Hey Karine.  How have you been?
Karine:  It's good to see your still alive.  You stopped calling me so...
Aimee:  About that.  I've just been so busy with the....
Karine:  I know the show.  Well good for you Aimee.
Aimee:  Karine?  Did I miss something?  Are you mad at me?
Karine: I just don't like people who use others to get ahead and then once they get what they want, they move on!
Aimee:  ............. 
Awkward silence
Cynthia:  Umm, well we should be going.  How about we do lunch sometime and catch up?
Aimee:  That will be great.  Oh, since I have you two here, I wanted to invite you to my screening I'm holding at my residence tonight.  I'd love for you guys to come.  
Cynthia:  Sure, I'd love to come.
Karine:  I'll see, I don't know.
Aimee:  Okay, well toodles.  (Sashays off)

"Okay, I don't know what Karine's problem was but she needs to get her sh*t together.  I heard of the trouble between her and Calvin and it looks like she's taking it out on everyone but who she should be taking it out on, him!  Yes, I've been busy and too busy for her drama.  "Oh, Calvin did this, Calvin did that".  Well F**cking leave the bastard then!  To top things off, Marlin was actin a damn fool about the party.   These people need to get the f**k out of my way! I'm on a mission!"

Marlin:  Hey babe.  How was the shoot?
Aimee:  It went okay I guess.  Those damn directors' don't know what the hell their doing though!
Marlin:  How about we just have a nice quiet evening here at the house?  We can drop Malika off at the babysitters.
Aimee:  Marlin.
Marlin:  What?
Aimee:  Aren't' you forgetting something.  My screening is tonight.  You couldn't have possibly forgot we just talked about it this morning.  I mean spending time sounds great but not tonight.

Marlin:  Not tonight, not tonight.  Well when are we going to spend time together?  Just me and you?  I think you should cancel this thing.  You don't need a screening anyway.
Aimee:  Marlin, I've had this planned for month's now and on top of it I WANT to do it!  I thought we were behind all this jealousy.
Marline:  Jealous?  Me?  I'm your husband. I'm not jealous of you!  You know what, fine.  I'm not going to the screening tonight so just enjoy those booji, stuck up, fake a** people.  You will never be one of them Aimee! Never!  Come on Malika.  Let's go to grandmas.

Aimee:  Okay, first of all, you need to calm the f** down.  It's not that serious. Secondly, you need to put my daughter down.  I haven't had a chance to spend time with her!
Marlin:  Well, you should of thought about that earlier.
Aimee:  Believe me Marlin, you don't want to f*** with me!  I'm tired of your whining and negativity all the time.  Either get with the program or get the f*** out.  Your not dragging me down anymore!
Marlin: So it's like that huh?
Aimee:  Yeah, muthafu**a it's like that!

"I'm sick and tired of him!  He's a fu**ng crab in a barrel always trying to bring me down.  Well guess what HONEY, I will make it with or without your broke a**.  Trying to take my baby to his mother's house.  I know what that means, he wants to be gone for a few days.  All I have to say is that he better stay in his fu**ing lane and get with the program because believe me, he doesn't want to go to war with Aimee!"

"Going to the gym with Katty was...interesting.  Who would have thought that she was in such good shape.  It's been a while since I worked out so that's why I was struggling a little bit sooo.... Well I've yet to meet the other housewives but I was invited to a screening tonight by Aimee.  I'm really excited to go and rub shoulders with the who's who of Bridgeport.  It's so fun doing that!  I was only home a few minutes when Karine called me."

Dianna: Hey girl.  What's up.
Karine: Well, how did it go?  Did she say anything about Calvin?
Dianna:  Not really.  Acrtually she seemed quite disgusted by him.  To be totally honest, I don't think anything's going on there Kare.
Karine: Don't be fooled.  She is very crafty and conniving.  Are you going to Aimee's screening tonight?
Dianna:  Yeah.  I thought it would be a good way to meet some of the other ladies.

Karine:  Very well then I guess I'll go too. Even though Aimee practically abandoned me after she got what she wanted.  I'm really interested to see how good this show actually is.
Dianna:  I'm interested as well and I can't wait to have a few drinks and unwind.
Karine:  I understand Dianna but don't' get too trashed because you know how you get.
Dianna:  Umm, okay Kare.
Karine:  See you later...Oh one more thing.  I need you to do a bit of recon for me tonight.  Observe Katty as much as possible and see if she's up to anything.
Dianna:.....Okay, I guess.
Karine:  ( Click)

"What the other housewives don't know is that I am very close to Karine.  Have been for a while now and I am her plastic surgeon.  She also helped me get on the show but she thinks that because of that, she can tell me what to do.  Well I have news for her!  I plan on forming my own opinion about the housewives, Katty included.  Of course I didn't tell her that though.  I'm gonna sit back and watch these grown a** women rip each other apart.  Popcorn please!  Hahahaha."

                                         Later that Night............

Aimee:  I want to thank you all for coming to my screening.  As many of you know, it means a lot to me that you guys are here to share in my dream.  Please hold all talking, and comments until after the show.  Thank you.  Without further ado... Here's Southern Cookin' With Aimee!
                                               
                                                  (Applause)

(Aimee on Screen)  You don't want to let the mac n cheese burn so you need to keep any eye on all that cheesy goodness...
Dianna:  Mmmm, that looks good..
Katty:  Shhhhhh!!!
Karine:  SHHHHHHHH!!!!
Katty: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Karine:SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Cynthia:  Okay, you guys that's enough.  How old are you guys?
Aimee: Ahem! >:(
                

                                                After Screening

Karine:  Well looks like your show is a success.  Congratulations dear.
Aimee:  Thank you Karine, I really appreciate that.
Karine:  Mmhm.
Aimee:  Is there something you want to say to me Karine?
Karine:  Yes, as a matter of fact I do BUT....Since this is your night, I will wait to address this at a later time.
Aimee:  ..................

Katty:  (Says in hush voice)  Okay why are you over her dancing with me while she dances with flavor flave over there.  Go get her!
Guiseppe:  Only I am waiting of the right moment.  You cannot rush romance.
Katty:  Do you like your job?
Guiseppe:  Ms. Katty, I...
Katty:  DO YOU...Like... your job?
Guiseepe: Okay, okay.  I will try to cut in.

Guiseppe:  You look stunning tonight.
Cynthia: Umm, thank you.  I guess...
Guiseppe:  My name is Guiseppe and yours?
Cynthia:  Cynthia Hart.  Nice to meet you Guiseppe.  Say I saw you dancing with that woman over there.  Do you know her well?
Guiseppe:  Uh, well not really.  I think maybe she's a b**ch or something, I don't know.
Cynthia: (Laughs)  Yes, I think your right Guiseppe.  By the way I love your accent.  Where are you from?
Guiseppe:  Italy, have you ever been?
Cynthia:  Yes, actually but a very long time ago.

Calvin:  ( says drunkily) Dianna, you look beautiful tonight.  If I wasn't' married, I would wear that a** out!
Dianna:  Hahah.  Your so crazy Calvin.  What makes you think you could handle all this sexiness.
Johnny:  Dianna!

Dianna:  Johnny, I was just....

Johnny: Just what, flirting with that filthy drunk scum!

Dianna:  Johnny!

Calvin: (slurs) F*ck you a**hole!  Go find your own wife!

Johnny: What the f*ck are you talking about.  You need to go home and sober up man!

Calvin: (slurs) I don't take orders from anybody.  You wanna go we can go!

Johnny:  Hahaha.  I would love to knock your a** out right now but I got one better.  You can forget about getting ANY job in this town again buddy.

Old Lady:  Fabulous show dear.  I would like to air your show on my network as well.  Here's my card. Give me a call Monday.

Aimee:  Oh, thank you so much.  Will do...

Old Lady:  Toodles.

Aimee:  Dianna, is there a problem here?

Dianna:  Umm, well Johnny and Calvin sort of got into it....

Aimee:  Karine!

Karine:  Calvin, you've had way too many.  You smell vile! Let's go home!

Calvin: (slurs) NO!  I'm not going anywhere with you.  You don't love me.  I'm a complete failure. (starts to cry)

Karine:  Calvin, that's not true.  Please honey let's go home.

Calvin:  (slurs) NO!  You don't control me Karine.  You may be old as dirt but that don't give you the right to be my mother.

Karine: (Gasps)

Calvin:  (slurs) You think I don't see those guys eyeing my cougar wife! Huh!  I'm outta here.  Don't try to catch me.

Calvin:  (Passes out and hits head)

Karine:  Oh my God Calvin!

Aimee:  Karine!  Get that drunk out of my party!

Karine:  What are you snickering about!

Katty:  I just think it's hilarious that your life is falling apart in front of your eyes.  Hahahahh!

Karine:  B**ch!!

Katty: HAAHAHHAHHHH!

Vampire Lady:  AUUGGHRRRGGHHH

Calvin:  (slurs)  Oh my God!

Aimee:  (Gasps horrified)

Katty:  BOOOOO!!

Aimee: ........EVERYBODY OUT!!!!   YOU"VE ALL RUINED MY PARTY!  GET OUT!!!!!!

"What the f**k was that!  My party was completely and utterly crazy! These are grown a** people for Gods sake!  I don't even know why I invited the other housewives.   They are so beneath me.  Well the good thing is that my show may be airing on another cooking channel.  As they say, "The more the merrier".  Marlin didn't show up and it's all for the best.  I really didn't need him bringing me down!  Well, A-list here I come!"

Katty:  Hey babe.  How was it today?

Matthew:  Tiring.  This new actor I'm working with is horrible.  She can't remember her lines worth a damn.  

Katty:  Aww, sorry to hear that.  Wanna drink?

Matthew:  Sure, thanks. So how was the party?

Katty:  It..was..AMAZING!  Calvin got pissy drunk and passed out.  Johnny and Dianna Jones got into a huge fight over her flirting with Calvin, and you ready?

Matthew:  What?

Katty:  Some vampire lady totally disintegrated for no reason.  It was soooo entertaining!

Matthew:  No sh*t?  Wow, looks like I missed a lot.  Was Aimee really mad?

Katty:  Oh, yeah.  She kicked everyone out of the party.  

Matthew:  Damn, hate that I missed that. ( chuckles)  Say Katty have you sent my Gucci suit to the cleaners or something.  I couldn't find it today.

Katty:  Oh, umm, I....I don't know.  Maybe Consuela did something with it.

Matthew: Okay, I'll ask her later.

Katty: Kay

Matthew:  How about we jump in the hot tub?

Katty:  Right behind you. (cell rings)  I'll be there in a minute baby.

Katty:  Hello?

Karine:  You think your so witty don't you b**ch!

Katty:  Karine?

Karine:  Yeah, it's me.  Who did you think it was.  A little warning Girl!  Stay the f*ck away from Calvin or you'll regret it!

(Click)

"Okay what the f**k was that?  Karine's completely losing it.  I mean, who does that sh*t?  She might as well have been breathing heavily into the receiver.  I mean, really? She needs help!

On another note, that party was AMAZING!  Hahahha.  People will be talking about that party for weeks to come and not for good reasons.  Also it looks like my plan is in full swing with Guiseppe.  Okay so maybe I let him borrow Matthew's suit but he has to look the part if he wants the girl.  He cleaned up pretty good.  I mean he can't get play looking like the bum that he is, right?  Cynthia's so dumb and desperate.  She'll be all over him in no time.  Hahahahhaha.  Life is good!"