Real Housewives of Bridgeport S2 Ep 1

"Well where shall I begin?  There's been a lot going on since last season.  As you can probably tell, I had some more work done.   You know a little nip here, a tuck there, a nose job....ahem.  Anyway if you want to stay relevant in this city, you have to look the part.  There is always someone younger, prettier, richer... wait, not ones richer than me.

Since I had my work done, I have been landing parts back to back and that has caused a rift between me and Calvin.   We have been fighting nonstop for the past few months.  He's drinking again and on top of that I think he's having another affair.  I confronted him when he was leaving for another one of his"extended outings".

Karine:  Calvin where are you going, I thought we were going out to dinner tonight?
Calvin:  I got things to take care of.  Just order Chinese and I'll be back in a few hours.
Karine:  That's what you said last night, and the night before that.  I need to know what's going on with you.  Are you seeing someone else?

Calvin:  This sh** again Karen!  I thought we went through this.  I'm not cheating on you okay!  I just need some space sometimes.  Your totally smothering me!
Karine:  What do you mean?
Calvin:  All these red carpet events I attend with you, all these fancy dinners.  I'm sick of being your arm candy!

Karine:  But Calvin I'm your WIFE! You are supposed to be with me all the time!  You should have thought about all of this before you said "I do"!
Calvin:  It bothers me because I don't' have an identity anymore, okay!  Everyone refers to me as "Karines Dubois husband".  How do you think that makes me feel?!
Karine:  My success is your success Calvin, you know that.

Calvin:  No your success, is just that. YOUR success!  Not mine!  I'm outta here.

Karine:  When are you coming back?

Calvin:  Don't wait up.

"It's been nonstop for us and I'm afraid we won't last much longer.  I think maybe we should go to counseling but I doubt Calvin will agree to it.  I think I will just take matters into my own hands and find out just what it is that he is up to.  If it's that Katty bi*** again, I will make it so she will NEVER be able to show her ugly face in public again!"

"I'm Dianna Jones, the most well known and prominent plastic surgeon in Bridgeport.  Now I'm the newest housewife.  Being a plastic surgeon in a town like Bridgeport has been very lucrative to say the least.  EVERYONE in Bridgeport wants to be a celebrity and they will do anything and pay anything to succeed.  

There isn't a soul in Bridgeport that doesn't know me or hasn't' seen my work.
I turn flab into Fab and the ordinary into Extraordinary, so if you happen to come to this town, look me up my office is always open for business.  Okay maybe that  sounded a little racey but you get my drift.

Like many people in Bridgeport I like the finer things in life.  My closet is full of Gucci, Prada, Louboutin, and Versace just to name a few.  I wouldn't be caught dead in something that isn't name brand.  Not even socks!

My  husband is a lucrative film director so the majority of my clients are referred through him.

The vanity in this town has afforded me the luxurious lifestyle I deserve.  We're not keeping up with the Jones' because quite literally, we ARE the Jones.

"My career has been on fire since last season.  I'm starring in a few upcoming films.  So maybe the critics haven't exactly raved about them but who cares.  Those films get me one step closer to becoming the superstar actor I so deserve to be.

Last season was crazy, with crazy people.  I finally got that bi***es daughter out of Matts house.  I knew she would go home and blab about me being pregnant.  Too bad she believed me.  Hahahhaa.   Word on the street is that I had a miscarriage.  Let's just say it's brought me a lot of sympathy.  Some people who I shall not name, speculate that I was never pregnant.  A girl never tells.

Matthew and I are closer than ever now and the last thing I need is that crazy hoe coming around trying to interfere with our relationship.  I've got a few tricks up my sleeve and what happened today totally put my scheme in motion."

Katty:  Hey Guido!  What the F*** are you doing in the house!  Don't you have some bushes to prune or something?
Guiseppe:  Oh, scuse me.  I didn't know anyone was home.  I was just getting a drink.  Thirsty, you know.
Katty:  Yeah, but that's what the hose is for.  If Matt finds out about this.....
Guiseppe:  I mean no disrespect to Mattew, only I needed one drink....
Katty:  ......  You know what.  Don't worry about it.  Why don't you have a seat Luigi.

Guiseppe:  Thank you very much Miss Katty.  And my name is Guiseppe.
Katty:  Okay whatever.  Look, I want to offer you a proposition.
Guiseppe:  Proposition?  What is this?
Katty: (Gasps in frustration)  I need you to do something for me.
Guiseppe:  Oh, anything Miss Katty.
Katty:  It's Mrs. Hamming to you, okay.  So Justin are you married? Got a girlfriend?
Guiseppe:  Oh, no.  No married.  No girl either.  Why you asking thees?
Katty:  Well I have this....friend.  She's, well I guess men find her attractive.  She's really desperate to find a companion.  Her name is Cynthia Hart.  I think she would really love to meet someone as handsome and smart as you. (Holds back laughter)

Guiseppe:  Oh, is she as beautiful as you  Mrs. Hamming?

Katty:  Whoa, slow your roll.  We're talking about HER, not me.  So move it or lose it!

Guiseppe:  Oh, so sorry.  I didn't mean to offend you.  Only you are just so beautiful.

Katty: (Grinds heel in Guiseppe's crotch)  Keep it in your pants.  At least until you get with Cynthia.  Then I don't want to know what you do with it. (cringes)

Guiseppe:  Owww.  Okay, okay.
Katty:  Look, I'm not going to attempt to sweeten this deal because the deal is you do this for me or I tell Matthew you were in here parlaying and fixing drinks like you owned the place, got it!
Guiseppe:  Yes, yes I got it.
Katty:  Good.

"Wow, I can't believe I found someone as pathetic as Cynthia.  What a great pair they are going to make.  Tweedle dee and tweedle dumb.  Haha.  So the newest housewife called me to meet up with her at the gym.  I hear she's a Dr. or something.  She was talking like I was supposed to know who she was or something.  This should be interesting."

Dianna:  Hey, so glad you could make it Katherine.
Katty:  Ummm, I go by Katty.  The only person who calls me that is my mama and that's only when she's pissed at me.
Dianna:  Oh, hahah.  Your mom sounds like a colorful character!
Katty:  ........
Diana:  So, umm...yeah.
Katty:  Yeah, I guess we could pump some iron or something.
Dianna:  Okay, pumping iron sounds like a plan!

Katty:  So have you met the other housewives?
Dianna: Noo, urgh.  Not..all..of..theeemmm.
Katty:  Aren't you a doctor?
Dianna:  I..amm. Whyyy?
Katty:  Because it looks like your really struggling over there.  Doctors are always telling people to stay in shape.  Maybe y'all should practice what you preach once in a while.

Dianna:  I'm act..u..ally a pla...stic surg..eon.
Katty:  Still, a Dr. is a Dr.  Let's just go do some aerobics.  Looks like you could use a break from this.
Dianna:  Phew. Yeah, I think that's a good idea.

Dianna:  So, did you hear about Karine Dubois?
Katty:  Karine?  What about her?
Dianna:  She may be leaving her husband.  Looks like he's going to be on the market pretty soon, if you know what I"m saying.
Katty:  ...... I really don't care about that or I don't care about Karine.  She's been trying to ruin my reputation ever since she wrongfully thought I was banging her pathetic husband.
Dianna:  Well he's not so bad.  He's a very talented actor.
Katty:  Are we talking about the same guy?  Calvin?  Calvin Dubois?

Dianna:  Yes, that's him.

Katty:  That guy sucks, and I hear he's a big drunk now.  My question is, why do YOU think so highly of him?

Dianna:  Oh, I just thought maybe you guys were close.

Katty:  What?  Who told you that?  Karine?  She's fu**in stupid.  Old a** bi**h!

Katty:  Look Donna, I'm gonna give you a piece of advise.  Don't go around assuming anything, capeesh?  Believe me you don't want me nor her for an enemy.  Just watch yourself.

"I can't believe that chick!  Going around gossiping and starting rumors is not the way to go in this town.  Sure I scheme, but at least I'm sneaky with my sh**.  Guess they don't' teach common sense in med school.  Well on a positive note, at least that creepy vampire is gone.  She freaked me out so bad always eyeing my veins and sh**.  What is it with these women in Bridgeport?"

"Where do I begin!  Well I've gone through a transformation of sorts since last season.  I've been dating here and there but haven't met that special someone yet.  I would be lying if I said I wasn't' still in love with Matthew but he's so wrapped up with Katty even more now that she supposedly had a miscarriage.  I don't' believe that for one minute.  She had my baby girl crying for a week and it took everything I had not to go over there and choke the life out of her!
Karine called me very upset.  She told me that Calvin was up to his old tricks again.  She sounded so distraught so we decided to meet at the mall for some retail therapy but of course not before me and Taylor had yet another fight."

Cynthia:  Taylor, honey I need you to watch your sister's for a little while just until the babysitter gets here. She's got a personal matter to take care of.
Taylor:  So if I say no, then what?
Cynthia:  If you say no, then your grounded.  I don't' ever ask you to do anything Taylor.  When your not in school, your out with your friends, on the computer, or sleep.  Your room is a pig sty......
Taylor: Here we go again.  I don't need to hear this right now mom!

Cynthia:  No, I don't need this now!  Everytime I ask you to do something you give me an attitude about it.  When I was your age I did everything while my mom struggled to keep food on the table.  You don't' know how good you got it!
Taylor:  Okay, okay chill out.  Damn.  I'll watch them okay.  Just get out of my face so you can meet your fake friends.
Cynthia: ........

Cynthia:  Look Taylor.  I'm sorry.  We can't keep doing this.  I love you very much you know that right?
Taylor:  Yeah, mom.  I do  I guess I kind of love you too.
Cynthia:  See you later hun.

"Fighting aside, me and my daughter have become closer.  I guess I have Katty to thank for that.  If she didn't suck so much at being a person, me and my daughter wouldn't have found a common ground.  Now our commonality is that we both hate the bi*** and want Matthew away from her!"

Karine:  Oh, sweetie how are you?  You look fabulous as usual.  How have you been?
Cynthia:  I've been doing well but enough about me.  What's the problem with you and Calvin?
Karine:  I'll tell you in a bit.  Theres no sense in standing in front of Dolce and Gabbana without going inside right.
Cynthia: I know right.

Karine:  So how's the love life going?  Are you dating again or..
Cynthia:  Here and there but I haven't met anyone that interest me very much.  Seems like the guys in this town only want one thing when it comes to women.
Karine:  That's why I hated being single.  Being single in Bridgeport is the worst.  I just hope me and Calvin can get it together.

Cynthia:  Karine, you know I love you right?
Karine:  Yeah...
Cynthia:  I just think that staying with Calvin at this point is a losing battle sweetie.  He has put you through so much.  Remember the incident in France.  I mean, why wouldn't he tell you he was shooting a film with Katty?  Why would he just leave without telling you that.  Your too good for him hun.

Karine:  Katty.  I hate that woman!  She has caused nothing but problems between me and my husband. This is all her fault!
Cynthia:...Well Karine, it takes two to tango.
Karine:  No, no way.  Katty got in his head again.  I just know it.  Why else would he be acting the way he's acting right now.  She's got to go.  Her time in this town is up!
Cynthia:  So what do you propose we do?
Karine:  I don't know, let me think about it but know this... That woman will be NO MORE in Bridgeport when I am done with her!

"That's right.  Katty is in for a rude awakening.  She thinks she can come in this town and run things.  Well she's got another thing coming!  I have ALLOWED her to exist in this town thus far but the bi**es time is up.  Watch out Katty because I'm coming for you B**CH!'



                                                        To Be Continuted.......................